dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
