You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
