if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
