He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
