Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
