I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize