I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
