I have demons in me.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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