Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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