I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
