don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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