my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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