Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
