So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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