We won't sleep together?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
