you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
