break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
