Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
