Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
