She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
