Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
