i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
