Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
