Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
