so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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