They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
