I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
