apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
