ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
