I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
