my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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