There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
