Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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