I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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