turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
