I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
