Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize