if i died would you start the facebook group?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
