I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
