break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
