Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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