Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm really into asian looking animals
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
