ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
