hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize