in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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