Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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