Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Please don't give away my fajitas
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
