would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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