when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
