Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Damn victory sex feels great
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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