butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
