I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
