i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
