i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
