You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
