I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
