Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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