I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
