She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
