i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
