Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize