can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
